


Bed Ninja

by Harukami



Category: Nabari no Ou
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 02:43:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2715989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harukami/pseuds/Harukami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shortly after Miharu's twentieth birthday, Yukimi wonders if they're going to remain roommates or if Miharu has plans to move out. Oh, well, Miharu has <i>plans</i>, all right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bed Ninja

Shortly after Miharu's twentieth birthday, Yukimi decides to bring it up. "So," he begins. "Don't get me wrong. I like having you here, and hey, you're always willing to lend a hand--" Miharu fixes his gaze on the empty space where Yukimi's arm isn't, as if watching it. Obligingly, Yukimi moves the stub as if he were gesturing as he spoke, Miharu's eyes tracking its non-existent movement. "--but you're pretty much an adult now, in university and everything, and I was wondering if you were thinking of moving out any time soon."

Miharu's eyes snap to Yukimi's face. "...What are you saying?"

"I'm not saying you have to leave," he repeats, stressing just about every other word. "I'm just asking about your plans."

But it's too late. He's triggered _that_ side of Miharu, whose eyes well up with the biggest, fakest crocodile tears. 

"Oh come on," Yukimi protests.

Miharu pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket with a deft snap of his wrist, unfolds it tidily, looks it over, and then buries his face in it, sobbing. "Y-you're throwing me out!"

"I'm not throwing you out!"

"I don't understand," Miharu says. "Why are you doing this to me? A-aren't there better ways to break up with me? Yukimi-san!"

"Break up with -- we're not going out!"

"So you _are_ breaking up with me!" Miharu wails.

"I'm not breaking up with you because we're not going out!"

"Because you're breaking up with me?!"

"I'm not breaking up with you!" Yukimi yells. "You can stay! Jesus fucking Christ!"

Miharu folds the handkerchief. "Ice cream," he says. 

"What."

"You owe me ice cream for that scare."

"Why, exactly, do I owe you ice cream?" Yukimi asks, exasperated.

Expectantly, Miharu puts a hand on his stomach.

"Oh," Yukimi says. "The baby. Of course. What was I thinking."

***

He ends up going to the local convenience store and getting Miharu an ice pop, of which Miharu eats exactly one bite before rejecting because he's full.

***

Later, he realizes the ice cream incident was to give Miharu time to prepare the next stage of his assault. He's still working on an article, and waves Miharu off to bed earlier, paying no attention -- foolishly -- once Miharu leaves his line of sight.

So he's not exactly prepared to return to his own room an hour later to find Miharu sitting up in bed, reading his film studies textbook. Yoi-te the cat is curled up on his feet.

Except it's not really just Miharu's presence in his bed that's the problem, though a problem it is. It's the whole scene that Miharu's set up.

Somehow, Miharu has acquired "His and hers" pillowcases and put them on the pillows. Somehow, Miharu has acquired himself a nightgown and ladies' nightcap of the sort you'd expect you'd expect to find on the beleaguered housewife of any bad tv drama. 

"...Oi, this is going too far."

Miharu looks up unsmiling over the top of the textbook. "Are you coming to bed, honey?"

"Like, have you actually spent money on this prank?"

"Or do you want a bath first? Or perhaps do you w~a~n~t~ m~e~?"

"Maybe you're using a substitution technique. You didn't actually spend money on it, right?"

Miharu is still completely deadpan. "You know I like to surprise you, darling."

"You're giving me chills."

Miharu pats the bed next to him, his eyes locked on Yukimi's with a terrifying depth to them. The look is one of commitment to this absurdity. His cold green eyes challenge Yukimi with a silent _Do you feel lucky, punk?_ and Yukimi realizes three very important facts: 

1) Miharu is not going to get out of his bed.  
2) He would probably have to actually turn this into a fight to get Miharu out of his bed, and he's not convinced that he would ever win a fight against Miharu, especially in the bedroom.  
3) Even if he did pick a fight, it'd mean the cat would have to move, and he looks just so comfy.

He doesn't break eye contact with Miharu, unbuttons his top, unbuckles his pants. He's waiting for Miharu to flinch but it's like a weird game of marriage chicken and Miharu will never be the first to turn away, not when he has the possibility to make someone's life a little more fucked up. 

Yukimi breaks first, still wearing his boxers and tank top, and pulls back the covers to climb into bed. 

"Wait, honey," Miharu says.

Yukimi waits.

"I bought you a matching pajama set."

"GO TO SLEEP," Yukimi says, and hits him with the 'His' pillow.

***

It's not his usual preference, exactly, but it's kind of nice having Miharu there, breathing softly, a warm and familiar presence at his back.

About an hour into sleep, though, Miharu somehow manages to spread out to take two thirds of the bed. Yukimi gets himself comfortable in the last third, and then the cat decides to spread out as well.

Yukimi spends the night curled up in a weird huddle near the end of the bed, where the cat should by all rights be. But he just looks so comfortable sprawled out with Miharu.

***

The next night, he looks at Miharu in his bed and says, "Oh, come on," with exasperation. "Are we still doing this?"

Miharu looks at him like he's speaking another language. 

***

Three weeks later, Yukimi gets ready to come to bed with Miharu, and then stops and thinks about their circumstances.

"Wait," he says. " _Are_ we going out now?" 

"I told you, didn't I?" Miharu says.


End file.
